Being forced to pay to pee when traveling gets me a little 'pissy'

Whether in Munich or Minnesota, Buenos Aires or Bratislava, Casablanca or Cleveland, being forced to open my wallet and fish for a coin to relieve my aching bladder sticks in my craw.

In other words, I get plain pissed off, pun intended.

What really irritates me is that men have a better chance of not being forced to train a bladder of steel. Along the streets of so many European countries, one finds those pissoirs – little booths men can walk into for free to pee. (Or they can even hide in the bushes!) Granted, in recent years, there has been an uprising of ranting women pointing out that giving men a place to pee for free but making women hold it or pay is a sexist policy. Things are changing, slowly. But honestly, it's not fast enough for travelers seeking a place to pee without digging for coins.

‘Americans jailed for toilet poaching’

That could have been the headline in French newspapers a few years ago. I discovered years back as a college student in San Francisco that high-end hotels were great places to find a clean toilet – you just had to look semi-decent and walk like you knew where you were going. I knew the location of the toilets in a very premium hotel right on Union Square in San Francisco, so I’d saunter in the door, say “Hi” to the valet or whoever was at the door (remember, look like you belong) and beeline straight for the bathroom. Another trick was not to go out the same door you entered. Never a problem to be had.

Then, years later, Michael and I were traveling in Paris – when we were still bathroom-seeking neophytes. As the morning progressed, we began to get more and more desperate. So, I shared my trick about hotels with him. We spied a decent one on a side street, pulled ourselves together, and walked in, nodding at the person behind the front counter and headed up the stairs. We found a bathroom two flights up – much to the relief of our bladders – and then headed back out. As we were headed down the first flight of stairs, a guard dashed past us, glancing around a bit frantically. 

We high-tailed it out as quickly as possible trying not to catch attention, headed around a couple of corners, and then bust out in giggles. We realized we had not chosen wisely since this hotel we found was in the embassy district, so it likely had very high security. The woman at the front desk probably called a guard and said, those people don’t belong. Bad choice, but luckily, we escaped without creating an international incident.

Seeking relief for your poor bladder when traveling

As Americans, finding a payment system in Europe of 50 cents or 1 euro to use a bathroom can be shocking. Some travelers may say, oh, it’s “not a lot” of money, those poor attendants. Wait, hold on folks, think about this: Based on the current EURO-USD exchange rate, that’s more than a dollar just to pee! Are you kidding me? Try that several times a day for each member of your traveling group. I am not using that many supplies or that much water to charge me a buck. In England, it may cost just 20 pence, or about 25 USD cents -- I can support that fee.

I’ve also seen some bathrooms where men can go in, use a urinal, and walk out without being asked to pay. I get so annoyed at that sexist discrepancy that I have been known in less-than-clean situations (but with a very attentive attendant) to drop a smaller coin (think pennies) into the mix of coins in the dish – nobody is the wiser. I decline to “tip” an attendant who isn’t doing his or her job.

Once, in a department store in France, a young female toilet attendant asked for a coin on the way in, and when I said I had none (which I honestly didn’t), she said, that’s fine. I have also learned that in some cases, the payment is a suggestion, despite what the signs say. Sometimes, the fee can be for the TP you are given by an attendant and the paper towel they hand you afterward. No use ‘em? No pay. Just like men using a urinal for free. That doesn’t mean you drip dry or don’t clean your hands. Always, always, always carry TP, some tissues, and hand sanitizer.

Over the years, we have developed a system to minimize or avoid paying for every pee break – and you can find those traveler tips here. I don’t want to be rude, but I’m not going to be a dumb American traveler who just dishes out money every time I’m asked.

The good news: We were at a public event in Berlin recently, and there was no escaping the pay-to-pee mobile toilets. The woman attendant was pretty much blocking the door. There was no way to walk in unseen. But here's the thing: She was friendly and smiling, the stalls were well-equipped, the soap and supplies plentiful, and the entire unit so clean it sparkled. After every use, she’d bolt in and clean up.

For that kind of service, I will happily pay. And my bladder thanks me.

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— Story by Therese Iknoian